


Day 4 - Shore Leave

by MaxRev



Series: Kaidan Alenko Appreciation 2017 [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, anguish, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxRev/pseuds/MaxRev
Summary: Double check tags. This fic isn't happy in any way!





	Day 4 - Shore Leave

**Author's Note:**

> These were written/created for [Kaidan Alenko appreciation week](https://spectrekaidanalenko.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.

He’d never intended to come back and yet, here he was following the trail, the pull too strong to ignore. Anticipation warring with agony, Kaidan felt nausea roll inside of him with the push and pull of emotions. Every so often he had to step off the trail and rest, waiting for the feeling to subside before he could continue on. At times, he wondered if he’d even make it. A bone deep weariness settled over his shoulders with every step, making him want to turn and run back down the hill, drive away as fast as he could.

The world around him moved on as if nothing was wrong – birds warbled overhead, hopping along branches; squirrels chased each other from tree to tree; the sun shone bright and warm above him while a light wind whispered through the trees. The strong smell of pine trees surrounded him, their needles softening his footfalls as he put one foot in front of the other.

How dare the world move on! The only reason that was even possible was because of one outstanding soldier whose existence had been wiped out like an insignificant blip on a radar screen. That soldier…the love of his life. Kaidan‘s hands tightened into fists, anger surging to the fore. 

Turning around the bend in the trail, he stopped suddenly, his heart hammering painfully in his chest. Nothing had changed, yet everything had changed. Legs so heavy they felt filled with lead, each step a form of agony, Kaidan moved slowly towards the cabin that sat in the middle of the clearing. Chills chased up and down his spine, echoes of times past like ghostly images dancing before his eyes. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the voice that resonated with a well of emotion only for him, feel the tender touch meant only for him.

Slowly pushing open the door of the cabin, wincing as it creaked loudly, Kaidan let his eyes adjust to the shadowy interior. Dust motes danced lazily in the small beams of light determined to pierce the aged shutters. The air was musty, the cabin having been closed up for so long. He stood on the threshold, frozen in place while memories crashed over him like the waves of the ocean. Sinking to his knees, he let the tide sweep him away.

_“Couldn’t you have found a place a little closer to civilization?”_

_“Then it wouldn’t be camping. You didn’t want to sleep in a tent so this was the next best thing. What’s wrong? Out of shape, Commander?”_

_He’d ducked, grinning widely, as a sleeping bag flew past him._

A sad smile ghosted across his lips.

_“You look like a lumberjack, Kaidan. Do you climb trees? Chop wood?”_

_“You better hope one of us can so we have a fire to keep us warm at night and a stove to cook on.”_

_“Which wouldn’t even be an issue if you had just found a hotel in town.”_

_Kaidan had laughed as John grumbled. He’d still not been sold on the idea of camping. At least, not until Kaidan actually did chop wood, taking his shirt off as he warmed up.  Feeling like he was being watched, he’d looked up to find John leaning in the doorway, a beer in one hand, heavy lidded eyes on Kaidan while he labored. The look of appreciation on his face was worth all the grumbling._

Feeling something on his face, his hand brushed at it. He looked down at his hand, surprised to see it was wet.

_“This is impossible! How do you make it look so easy?”_

_Smiling at the younger man’s frustration, Kaidan walked over placing one hand on John’s waist, his right hand covering the one holding the fishing rod. “Just like this.” And he’d helped John with a few practice throws._

_Stepping back and out of the way, he’d nodded his head for John to try._

_“Finally! Thanks, K. You’re the best.”_

_A few hours later and John was crowing that he’d caught more fish than Kaidan._

_“Beginner’s luck,” he’d groused but the laughter in his voice took the sting away. “Besides,” he pulled John in close, resting their foreheads together, “I already got the best catch of all.”_

_A soft, sweet smile transformed John’s face,”You’re such a dork.”_

_“I know and you love me.”_

_“I do.”_

The tears flowed freely now. His biotics began to ghost across his skin.

_“This is really nice, K. I’m completely relaxed right now.”_

_“How many beers have you had?” He’d grinned at John while dodging a marshmallow._

_“Shut up, you. I mean it. Never thought I’d like camping…and we’re still never using a tent…but I think I can get used to this.”_

_They made s’mores, drank beer and stayed up late staring at the stars from a different perspective._

Kaidan hugged himself in a desperate attempt to stop the pain, to control his biotics.

_Lying on the bed, John’s back against Kaidan’s chest, they stared at the bright orange flames that rose up inside the stove accompanied by the sounds of the wood cracking and snapping. Kaidan had left the stove door open, in an effort to warm the room up faster from the sudden dip in temperature. One soft, thick blanket was wrapped around his shoulders, another one over John’s legs. They both held mugs of hot chocolate, steam curling up in the cooler air of the cabin._

_“Hey, K?”_

_“Yeah, John?_

_The other man turned, vivid blue eyes serious in his face, “I just wanted you to know, these moments up here, just the two of us? They’re some of the best I’ve ever had. I’m so glad you talked me into this; I’ll treasure them always. I love you, K. Forever.”_

_Kaidan reached out running his thumb along John’s cheek, his hand moving down to cup the strong jaw, several days’ growth of beard scratchy but Kaidan didn’t care, he loved it. Leaning forward, he kissed John softly before pulling back._

_“Me, too, John. Love you, always and forever.”_

His biotics erupted, emotion unrestrained, a loud wail full of extraordinary pain echoing around him. In the woods outside, there was no one to hear.

So began day 1 of shore leave.


End file.
